While keeping a tight rein on certain emotions when you’re speaking in a business situation is expected, sometimes they take over anyway.
What can you do to regain control? I recently suffered the loss of my dear Mother after her terrible struggle with cancer and other health challenges. As I ease back into my professional and community leadership roles, I am finding myself uncharacteristically weepy, with sudden outbursts of grief triggered by often innocuous moments in conversation. As a business owner and professional speaker, it’s been tough.
If you find yourself suddenly feeling sad, with tears or otherwise experience that “choked up” sensation that controls you momentarily, here are a few pointers that can help you regain your composure – or at least get you through it:
- Remember, if you are experiencing grief due to the loss of a loved one, a job, a beloved pet, your investment portfolio, or anything else that is truly dear to you, you will go through a series of “healing” steps. When it’s very early in the cycle of loss, forgive yourself for these outbursts because they will happen, and trying to suppress them usually doesn’t work anyway.
- Most people will forgive a genuine emotion expressed honestly in the course of a presentation, even if it makes them briefly uncomfortable, as long as you resume your message with a focus on their needs and interests, and not your own.
- To transition from your “emotional moment” gracefully into the rest of your message or conversation, one technique I recommend is to pose a question to the audience or to person with whom you are in conversation, so the attention slides from you to them quickly and seamlessly. For example, at a recent national conference I attended, when I found myself getting “emotional” at unexpected times, I would ask those around me what they found helpful about a speaker or a break-out session. Their answers helped me re-focus and get my thinking and feelings “back on track” for awhile.
- When you know that your emotions are running close to the surface, rehearsing your message – especially an important business presentation – is more important than ever. The better you know what you’re saying, the more carefully you’ve developed your persuasive points, and the more thoroughly you’ve polished your story-telling components, the less likely you’ll find yourself pulled off track. The same goes for your “elevator speech” or networking self-introduction. For best results, practice your presentation in pieces, out of order, at least nine times.
Mom, who was an accomplished speaker and community activist, always advised me to use her three B’s when speaking: “Be brief, be brilliant, and be gone!” When I tried to quote her two weeks ago, as I usually do at the end of a workshop or a speech, the words got stuck in my throat. After a few seconds of breathing, a sip of water, and wiping away escaped tears, I was able to wrap up. You will be fine, too!
