Four Things NOT to Say (or Write) If You Want to Persuade, Influence or Otherwise Get What You Want

 To propel yourself into the right circles – whatever your role in your organization — try to avoid using the four common but weak-sounding sentences below in your oral and written exchanges.

1.  I hope you’ll agree.
2. Hopefully, it will happen the way we plan.

 While “hope,” is truly a beautiful word, it does not belong in most business conversations or presentations to a group — if your goal is to spur action, sell, or simply be convincing. Neither does its cousin, “hopefully.” Both words express your lack of confidence in the outcome of what you’re describing. Instead, use phrases such as, “I am confident that,” or “We anticipate …,” or “I expect …”   These words propel the power and certainty of your leadership – even when you really don’t feel that way!

         3. You must do this by the deadline or you’ll miss out.

Imagine someone – possibly your Mother – pointing a finger in your face, demanding that you do something. That’s what the word “must” feels like to most people when they hear it or read it. To help provoke a decision or get buy-in, and avoid appearing to be heavy-handed or forcing a person to act. Instead, two different routes can lead you to your desired end.

a) Invoke the rule or policy as the reason for the request, if there is one. “The policy requires all applications to be in by next Thursday, or the discount won’t be available.” “The county rules state that you can water in this neighborhood only on Tuesdays and Fridays.”

b) For other situations, emphasizing a personal benefit for doing what you request. “You’re going to be regarded as hero, when you’re the first one finished!” “You’ll save 20% on your premium by paying your invoice by the 30^th.”

          4. You should have it by next week.

 Similar to “hope” and “hopefully,” the word “should” implies some doubt on your part. If I am buying from you, or you want my approval for a project you are proposing, I don’t want to worry about the outcome. Stand positively behind your expectations.  “You will have it by next Friday.” If you sincerely doubt that what is expected  can happen in the time frame that is needed, put the truth on the table sooner than later. Most of us would rather know what is “real” than deal with the fall-out from a failed promise.

 Remember, words are powerful and often are dual-edged swords – especially those four-letter ones including “hope” and “must.” Finding and using the right words at the right time is a life-long pursuit that takes practice and patience – but the rewards are without limits. Go for it!

Anne B. Freedman is a veteran presentation coach who works privately and in groups with senior level executives, business owners and community leaders. Her collection of e-books is available online at www.speakoutinc.com

 

Getting Out of Our Own Way – The Spoken vs Written Word

  by Anne B. Freedman

Went to an excellent Business Plan “Boot Camp*” yesterday and a good chunk of it was spent urging us to write tightly, to try get across our new business concept in seven words or less at first, and then, down to three words. I confess, despite being an experienced writer and former journalist, it was a               humbling exercise.

When you start putting your ideas together for a spoken presentation  – whether a “pitch” for business or an internal meeting – one of the most challenging parts is condensing your many varied and often brilliant thoughts into convincing ones that will capture and keep the listener’s attention.

After determining exactly who they are trying to persuade and why, I encourage my clients to begin by letting it “all hang out.” That is, write down everything they could possibly say, in no particular order. Then, write out what the competition might say about the idea, product or service. Consider and list what it doesn’t do. Identify at least a  half dozen distinct benefits for the listener (your boss, client, board, investor, etc.)  that will accompany a decision to give a “yes” answer to your presentation and list them. This process is similar to any other important business or nonprofit organization writing project, and to what I saw in the Business Plan Writing Boot Camp.

The key difference between writing well for the eye – which is what a business plan, blog, proposal or brochure requires – and writing effectively for the mouth, is that once you assemble your message, you’ve got to be able to say it, comfortably and convincingly.

My recommendation? As you brainstorm and write out your points and ideas, speak them aloud right away. It may slow up your “let it all hang out” brainstorming a bit, but you’ll have a much better handle, far sooner, on what you can express well face-to-face. Save or edit the stuff you trip over saying or that sounds boring to you, for a written document. In other words, get out of your own way, and you’ll enjoy better connections between your ideas, your mouth and your listener. As always, rehearse, rehearse, rehearse! Remember, actors practice for hours to make their performances look “natural.”

 (* http://www.entrepreneurship/fiu.com. Don’t miss the great Boot Camp series at Florida International University’s Pino Entrepreneurial Center. Upcoming, very reasonably priced sessions focus on Marketing, Finance, Networking and Selling. I am still sifting through what I’ve learned and realize how much I don’t know!)